Dear Parents. In the off shot that you are reading this, please don’t read this entry as it won’t please you.  No! It’s not about THAT! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER MOTHER!

In the days following college, I did what most people my age did: I moved to the city,  found myself a shoe box apartment and proceeded to survive off of oatmeal for years on end.

Please note before you start pitying me: I will admit to living a bizarre double life during these years as I survived off oatmeal and yet was regularly treated to spa trips, broadway tickets and baseball games through my job. NO! I am not a hooker.

I will always look back on the oatmeal years fondly as the time I learned how to survive on $25 a week for food and lived in the ghetto. But hey, it was MY shoebox, my own little piece of New York. Sure, my upstairs neighbor was a little strange and there was that one time there was a dead body was found upstairs which lead to the awesome exchange as follows:

Detective: So. There’s a body upstairs on the landing. We think it was natural causes.

Me: Oh. um. really?

Detective: Yes ma’am. But don’t worry we think it was natural causes. You didn’t happen to hear any gun shots, did you?

You’ll note this all went down the ONE DAY IN THREE YEARS MY FATHER VISITED ME IN NEW YORK.

Regardless, my time in New York was a fun one. I managed to come and go as I pleased and never had a single issue as a single female living in a perhaps questionable neighborhood in New York.  Only once did someone look at me in a manner that was off and even then a male neighbor from the dog park made sure I was home safely before heading his own way.

So, of course it is when I move to one of the safest cities in the world I end up with a stalker.

(oh hi mom! did i forget to mention this on our weekly skype call? whoops!)

I’ve named him creepy man.

I first came into contact with creepy man some weeks back on an evening where T and I were headed out somewhere.  He was acting strangely as we walked passed him but didn’t really think much of it as there are plenty of strange people in the world and we happen to be two of them. It wasn’t until he kept turning around to watch us and began following us that we grew a bit concerned.

In the weeks following, creepy man has stepped up his game.

He’s followed us around the neighborhood on his bike, on foot and generally lurks. Yesterday he went as far as to get off his bike to watch me walk into my building.  He never says anything but manages to retain all sorts of creepy in his fur lined purple jacket.

Yes, we’re playing it safe.  Doors are locked at all times, T walks with me whenever I need to leave the house these days and we’ve even begun considering the idea of switching apartments.

No, I’m no longer allowed to walk home or the dog at night.  Which is sad as I enjoyed the 20 minutes a day where I was allowed to blast my eardrums out with the latest awful music just added from Itunes.  Oh well, I guess this is good news for my hearing.

Needless to say, creepy man sucks.

Am hoping he gets a life soon as asking our boss if T can walk me home every night was a touch embarrassing.  Have also asked a few Japanese people how to handle the situation…suggestions welcome.