The DMZ or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb

“I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration , Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids… “
-Base Commander Ripper

On Day 3 M and I ventured to Panamunjom by bus roughly an hour and half from Seoul en-route to the DMZ. For anyone unsure, The DMZ is the strip of land dividing the two Koreas at the 38th parallel and to this day remains as one of the more tense borders in the world.

Luckily our guide filled us in on every possible detail before our arrival, sometimes thrice. While he might have been pushing eighty, he seemed as eager for action as any of the soldiers we would encounter in our travels if not more so. With microphone in hand he commanded our attention the entire ride, which meant M and I barely got a moment’s sleep prior to our arrival, but at least he was kind enough to ask if there were any vegetarians on the bus in preparation for lunch…

Our first stop was the Third Tunnel, named simply after being the third tunnel discovered by the South being dug by the North. This part of the tour begins with a short historical video intro that chronicles the conflict following Japanese rule during WWII to the present and even includes a “vision” of the future that led one audience member to burst out laughing. Basically a computer generated scene of the DMZ morphed into park benches and a peaceful meadow, which given the circumstance is optimistic and utterly absurd given the fact that the meadows are littered with landmines.

Following that we were each handed a hard hat and buckled ourselves in a cable car that took us 73 meters down towards the tunnel.

Sadly for M, photos aren’t allowed in the tunnel. The guide did mention that they think there are hundreds of other tunnels not yet discovered, so maybe a future photo op will come. Once inside you quickly realize the effort made by the North in blasting through bedrock to infiltrate the South. It’s impressive to see, but rather tight, but for perspective anyone over six feet tall would really find themselves uncomfortable as they would probably hit their head a thousand times.

By this point M and I found ourselves eager to start the second half of the tour. But first lunch…

After driving a few miles south, we arrived at a log cabin along a dirt road, were quickly ushered inside, and assigned tables. Once seated, in front of us we found crock pots filled with bulgogi to which M replied, “Let me know if you’re a vegetarian and I’ll do nothing about it!” Perhaps the old man forgot, but I’d wager he thought M was a Red in simply being a vegetarian. To make matters worse during the course of our meal we had our ears chewed off by a middle aged couple who by this point were referring to people on the bus on a basis.

Finally, the torture that was either lunch or an effort to get M to admit that the last three books she’s read have been about communist dictators, ended.

Until we switched to a new bus, it all seemed a bit contrived and rather amusing. Once we arrived at Camp Bonifas that all changed…

From the moment he set foot on our bus Sargent Bickerstaff meant business. After checking our passports he reviewed the ground rules making sure we each understood the gravity of the situation.

All in all it was quite simple:

Photos can only be taken when told

No waving or gesturing to the North at any time

If you decide to cross over there’s really no coming back

After another historical briefing inside the camp we boarded the bus once again to drive into the DMZ. At the UN Joint Security Area site we were given the opportunity to actually enter North Korea while inside a conference room shared by the two countries.

Half of the room belongs to the North and half to the South. By going to the left side of the table you actually enter North Korea. To some this might seem silly, but the both of us found it really interesting to walk back and forth between the nations.

Also interesting (and reminiscent of siblings dividing a room with tape) was the outside..

From there we were given a few other opportunities to take photos from two or three other vantage points that included a pagoda that stared directly into the North with soldiers peering right back at us from inside their buildings.

Our local guide pointed this out to us just before they slammed the windows shut.

On the way out we got a glimpse of the North Korea ”propaganda village”.

We also passed a village near the border known as the South Korea ”Freedom Village.” Perhaps the North Koreans just need a lesson in marketing?